Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Why Do You Think You Were Born In This World?

Whew - a toughie!

Actually, I've thought about this with everything that's happened in the last 6, almost 7, years. I had really wondered what went wrong with my life. I wasn't married, I didn't have kids, I hadn't moved to faraway lands - things that I grew up thinking might happen to me. What little girl doesn't think she will get married and have babies when she grows up?

But then my dad had his catastrophic illness. I was able to spend most evenings and weekends with my parents helping out. Then Mary was diagnosed with cancer. I split my time between helping with Daddy and Mary where I could. I was able to fly to Atlanta when needed.

And then Mary died - again I was free to travel (within work constraints) to help with Audrey when David needed me.

If I had a "traditional" life with husband and kids, I wouldn't have been able to help out as much as I did with my family. So things do happen for a reason!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Emotional Week

This has been such an emotional week. Some things I knew were going to affect me. Some hit me clear out of the blue.

I hosted an online chat Tuesday night for my digiscrapping friends - it was An Evening of Pink. I offered information on breast cancer and some scrapping challenges. I knew this was going to be a difficult evening, and I had been scrapping Mary plus wrote her story to share with the others. I think it was a successful evening - convinced one woman that she needed to get checked - she was in her 50's and never have had a mammogram.

But yesterday hit me clear out of the blue. I was coming through the north side of town and decided to stop at the cemetery to visit my daddy's grave. It hit me that I totally forgot to honor him on his death day - October 31. I remember Mary's but forgot his. So I was already feeling guilty and asking for his forgiveness when I get to his graveside. And I can't find it!!! The footstone was completely overgrown with grass. I know that his grave is kind of by itself and so I go to the gravestone I see by itself and it's not Daddy's. I look around and finally see this depression in the grass. By this time I'm in tears. I don't have any tools with me, but I pull the grass away with my hands and sweep the footstone with my bare hands. It's not completely clean, but at least now it can be seen. I did go to the cemetery office and have a talk with them about it. This is supposed to be a perpetual care cemetery and for the grass to have completely overgrown it, it hadn't been touched in a while.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

If I could take tomorrow off of work, I'd...

I would really be happy. I'm not happy at work right now, and the main reason is my boss. I really don't like him too much. I don't get the feeling he really cares about us. And I'm continually in trouble with him.

Right now, I'm just trying to stay out of his way and avoid him and that's not a very good way to work.

I have about 5 more years until I can retire from this job, even though I seriously need to think about what I want to do afterwards. I won't be able to retire completely at that point, so I need to think about my second career. Wonder if I could make a living playing on the computer all day?!?!?

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Look At Your Hands

Why Are You Grateful For Them?

I'm grateful for my hands because I use them for my job and for my creative outlets. I use my hands to work a computer at work. That would be difficult to do if I didn't have the use of my hands. I could still do my job, after all it's my knowledge that's the most important part of my job. But the job would be so much more difficult if I couldn't type on the computer or operate a mouse.

All of my creative outlets have involved my hands in some way - from operating the computer for my digiscrapping to holding a needle or crochet hook to do my needlework, knitting and crocheting to modeling railroad equipment or miniatures to working in my yard - all have involved my hands over the years.

But the biggest reason I'm grateful for my hands is the love I have been able to show through them - taking care of my Dad, holding my sister before she died and most importantly holding Audrey. I hope that she never tires of my touch. I know I will never tire of hers.