Friday, May 05, 2006


Sometimes I really hate the fact that the internet doesn't easily show the whole picture. I post on Weight Watcher boards frequently and had built up quite a friendship (or so I thought) with several people on the boards over time. But I made a comment that was taken as a slap to one person - it was never meant to be, but that was how it was taken. And EVERYONE ganged up on me. Well, now I can't do anything right and there are even a couple of people that seem to go out of their way to personally attack or snub me.

One of these people, S - I organized a group gift when they got their son for adoption. She just sent out photos of him playing with his gift - a train set - and I wasn't included on the distribution. The friend that I accidentally insulted was the one that forwarded them on to me!!!

Now, yesterday friend J asked for our thoughts and pros and cons about her son getting a motorcycle. Well, I posted my thoughts and because they weren't positive and supportive but were my thoughts, I was accused of being very negative and mocked by S. When I tried to explain my rationale, someone else jumped on my case. J didn't ask for everyone to convince her that her son's decision was ok, and there was a flaw in his argument (motorcycles are as safe as cars) that I tried to point out. But because I didn't say "Oh everything will be OK and your son will never be injured while riding his bike", I'm the evil person. I guess I'm not allowed to have my own opinion.


Stacey said...

I can so relate to this. I don't know what it is about the internet that seems to bring out the unforgiving (and unforgetting) side of people. I am on a board where often expressing an opionion contrary to the poster means you are 'unsupportive'. Drives me nuts sometimes. Sorry you are having to deal with it

Kim said...

Oy, the internet drama can be so bad sometimes, and it's doubly hard when you're let down by someone you think is a true friend, I know. I've had similar things happen, just different circumstances, but it hurts just as much as when you're involved in a face-to-face argument. Maybe more, because you can't really sit and talk with the person face-to-face and hash it out. So sorry this is happening to you right now :(

Bethy said...

I've been there.
And it hurts.
Thinking you have developed true friendships and finding out that they aren't what you thought is hard.

The computer is a harsh way to learn about friendships and it's left me very guarded in the virtual world.

I'm thinking of you Maggie. You've had a rough haul lately. Be nice to yourself!

heather said...

Hubby and I were talking about this exact same internet thing yesterday! dh has been on a board which has just turned nasty towards someone. We think it's like when people are driving, they feel like they can be ruder to you because there is a screen between you. Keep smiling :)

Judyy said...

I think Mercer hit the nail on the head--because people aren't confronting you face-to-face, and won't really be held to account for what they say, they don't bother to be as cordial or even as reasonable as they would be in person. That sucks.

I'm thinking of you, Maggie--you're overdue for a break.