Belated Happy Birthday, Mary!!!

Yesterday was Mary's birthday and she would have been 40. I had to write the date several times yesterday and each time I was reminded. Happy Birthday, Mary!

I IM'ed David to ask if Audrey was aware of the date since Audrey was the one that insisted we have a party last year. Her response this year - Dead people don't have birthdays. Hah!!! Little does she know.

But on an even stranger note, David said that Sunday Audrey drew her mother's tombstone. Now, Mary was cremated and nothing has been done with her ashes. She doesn't have a tombstone. This led to another conversation. I asked David if he had thought about enshrining them at a cemetery. Mary's wish was to not have a grave or memorial, but it seems like that Audrey really needs a resting place for her Mommy. David thinks it would be more for the adults, but Audrey is the one drawing tombstones for her Mommy.

I Only Have Myself To Blame...

No, I didn't learn my lesson. I have made it through 3 rounds of NKOTB and although the results aren't in for the last week, I'm pretty sure I'm not in the top 10. So instead of gracefully enjoying the next competition from the sidelines and cheering the others on - I, like a total idiot, sign up to compete.

So I can't complain, I can't bitch when I'm out after just one round. I'm reminding myself of that now since the competition starts tomorrow.

Why Do I Let It Get To Me???

I'm participating in the New Kids on the Block competition at www.digitalscrapbookplace.com. There are 81 participants. So why did I let it get to me that I wasn't in the top 10 in the first round? I barely qualified for the competition since I have so many layouts in my gallery and I guess I thought I had a good chance of doing better because of my experience. It's not that I think I'm better than everyone, but I feel that I was at least as good as at least one of the winners.

Sour grapes over - I'm stretching myself because the kits are not my first choices by any stretch of the imagination and ultimately, the contest should make me a better scrapper.

Just don't let me compete in the Digital Elite Team competition next month. I really don't need the rejection two months in a row. Plus I need to be working on the Mommy Book for Audrey.

The Scheduling Dance Has Started

Yes, I'm a "good daughter, Mildred" as my mother likes to quote an old Nyquil ad. I totally re-arranged my schedule last week so that I could take my mom for all of her tests on Friday. On Thursday when Mom wanted to know what I was doing as I was running from one appointment to another that had been re-scheduled from Friday, she asks do I want her to get someone else to take her... wtf? I'm on my last appointment that I have re-arranged and now she wants to know if I want her to find someone else.

Then this week - everyone thinks that I'm upset about losing my Friday night out with friends. It's not that - it's that I'm still trying to get my physical therapy in and work along with all the doctor visits. I'm trying to figure out how to arrange my week when I don't even know what her schedule is like yet. That's what's got me testy.

That and then she asks me since she can't go on her Alaska cruise, do I want to take her place - hell, I'm using my vacation on doctor's visits right now and she wants to know if I want to plan a 2-week vacation????

OK, vent over. I know I'm petty, I know she's going through the fight of her life, but I have to let it out somewhere - so here's where it goes!

The Angels and the Bed

Dear Audrey,

Your daddy sent me the conversation you had when he told you about Grandy having cancer.

Here's his account:

In other news, I broke the news to Audrey and she seems okay. She wanted to know if Grandy was going to die, and I said "Probably not, but nobody knows. The doctors are helping her and we'll see."

She thought about that a bit and said, "if she dies she'll be the second one in my family to die." I said, "Don't forget about Granddad Harold, remember him?" "Oh yeah, his bed tipped over."

"That's right. You were very young."

"Well, if Grandy dies then she'll see mommy and Granddad."

I don't know if you remember the story about the bed falling over. Granddad Harold had been in a hospital bed in the den. After he passed away, Grandy wanted us to get the bed out of the den as soon as possible. Uncle Mark got some furniture movers and he and I managed to get the bed turned over on its side so that it would go through the front door. But Uncle Mark decided that we needed some more help to load the hospital bed into my truck. We were waiting for Kathy and Uncle Dag to come over, but you and your mommy and daddy got there first while the bed was still laying on its side in the middle of the floor.

You were not quite 3 years old yet. And you come running into the house, yelling, "Hi, Maggie! Hi, Grandy!" Then you looked around and said, "Where's Grandpa Harold?"

Your mommy grabs you on her lap and says, "Remember, we talked about this. Grandpa Harold has gone to heaven. The angels came and took him to heaven."

You looked around and said, "Well! Did the angels knock over the bed, too?"

We had to laugh! Having you around made it a little easier to get through a very difficult time for all of us.

I love you, Little Girl.
Aunt Maggie